


glow in the dark stars

by danverspotsticker



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Gen, and a conversation, two angsty lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danverspotsticker/pseuds/danverspotsticker
Summary: sometimes, faith gets a little overwhelmed by her own history. willow gets it a little better than she prefers. it works out for the better.
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers (mentioned), Willow Rosenberg & Faith Lehane, Willow Rosenberg/Kennedy (mentioned, Willow Rosenberg/Tara Maclay (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	glow in the dark stars

**Author's Note:**

> I could not tell you why I wrote this aside from i'm gay and will write my self-inserts interacting if the source material isn't willing to give it to me, this is set post s7 if it matters

Faith figures there are definitely worse places to be when it feels like the world is ending than the guestroom of the apartment of the girl that she is certainly  _ not  _ in love with. The world isn’t ending, for once. It just feels like it is. There isn’t much she can do to fend off the guilt right now, Angel is all the way in LA, and Willow wiped her criminal history clean so that cops aren’t another thing The Council has to deal with. But it means that right now, Faith guilt is consuming, is unavoidable, and there’s nothing she can do about it.

She heads outside, in the hopes that fresh air will help, but before she knows it her carton of cigarettes is empty, and she feels the same except now her throat hurts and Dawn is going to complain when she comes back in. It won’t be a complaint that makes Faith feel unwelcome, but it will be another piece of things that make Faith a terrible person who maybe shouldn’t be alive, or at the very least, shouldn’t be living with people as good as Buffy and Dawn. 

But she is, and on good days that’s a good thing. She gets to tease Dawn about the crush she has on one of the mini-slayers, and she gets to flirt with Buffy and relish in the blush that spreads across her face. But, on bad days, like the one that has her gripping her thighs through her jean pockets right now, it’s just a reminder that she’ll never be good enough for Buffy, and that she’ll always be the person who let the both of them down, way back when.

Faith knows there are worse things to be than tired and scared and guilty, she’s been the worse things, she remembers the worse things. It doesn't make it better though. And when Buffy offers to go patrolling, Faith says no and hopes Buffy won’t ask questions. She doesn’t, thankfully, and instead brings Dawn along when she leaves. Faith assumes her shitty mood is contagious, she understands why people wouldn’t want to be in the same apartment as her. She turns off her light and lays across her bed, she doesn’t know how much time passes but she hears a knock on her door eventually and assumes that it’s Dawn with dinner or a book she thinks Faith will like. “Come in.”

The person on the other side of the door cringes at the rough sound of Faith’s voice and pushes the door open. The sight she finds reminds her of Xander’s classic country music sad times. Smiling softly and with understanding she sometimes not-wishes she didn’t have, she says, “One of those days, huh?”

Faith looks up, surprised. “Red?”

Willow smirks. “Yup.”

Faith shakes her head. “Why are you here?”

Willow shrugs. “Dawn mentioned you were in one of those great moods that isn’t, figured alone would be one of the lesser things to be right now.”

Faith rolls her eyes. “Sure.”

Willow moves towards the bed and nudges Faith’s leg with her knee. “Move over.”

Faith does and Willow flops down to stare up at the ceiling from next to her. Faith winces as the bed squeaks. “Was that necessary?”

Willow nods her head. “Absolutely.”

Faith snorts but Willow recognizes the familiar staring-offness of her eyes. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Faith squints like if she doesn’t she might break. Her voice is tight when she says, “Not really.”

Willow hums. “Buffy, murder, or other?”

Faith laughs wetly. “All of the above?”

Willow raises her eyebrows. “Oh, so it’s a fun one.”

Faith cracks a few of her knuckles habitually and smirks. “The funnest.”

Willow stays still next to her. “Well, I have nowhere to be and lucky for you I never stop talking, so… combatant to your head being stupid.”

Faith smiles softly as she closes her eyes. “I hate you.”

Willow laughs. “Sure you do, Faith.”

Faith reaches her arms up to support her head and Willow does the same, staring at the ceiling she asks, “You’ve been here a while, ever think of putting glow in the dark stars on the ceiling?”

Faith opens her eyes to shoot questioning eyes in Willow’s direction. “Uh, no, I’d say I’m about ten years late on that one.”

Willow lets out a grunt. “That’s crap. No one is ever too old for glow in the dark stars! Especially if you’re going to be having crises where you stare at the ceiling, might as well make it fun.”

Faith shakes her head. “That’s kid stuff, not my gig.” 

Willow huffs and Faith furrows her eyebrows. “What, Red? You and Kenn decorate your apartment with stickers?”

Willow hums. “No, me and Tara did it in our dorms though.”

Faith relaxes. “Shit, Will, I’m sorry.”

Willow shakes her head. “Don’t be, I had the same reaction. But, sometimes life messes us up and we don’t get to have the childhoods we might’ve deserved and we can’t repair things that we broke and sometimes we have blood on our hands that… it won’t ever go away. But, we can stick glow in the dark stars to the ceiling, and we can try to be better than we’ve been, and we can talk over people we love’s dumb heads when their dumb heads are being louder than they’re warrented to be.”

Faith pretends that Willow’s words don’t hit her directly in the chest and instead smirks, ignoring her watering eyes, and says, “People we love, huh?”

Willow rolls her eyes. “You’re an ass.”

Faith grins. “Maybe, but apparently Kenn might have some competition.”

Willow shoves an elbow into Faith’s ribs.  _ “Please… _ I’m not interested in being your Buffy-feelings deflector.”

Both of them laugh and settle in silence. Willow speaks, “I’m sorry your head is winning today.”

Faith hums. “Me too. Just… I think you’ve all got it wrong, and maybe Angel should’ve just killed me, or Buffy or The Council should’ve, or any of the hundreds of demons we’ve faced. I’m not… I’m not a good person.”

Willow furrows her eyebrows for a moment. “This feels like a weird thing to say, but she was the best person I knew, and she only ever met you when you were pretty much peak asshole and you were in Buffy’s body, and Tara still liked you.”

Faith sits up slightly. “Sorry?”

Willow sits up, too. “I mean, she didn’t know you, but she wanted to help you, too. And she’s the best judge of character I’ve ever met, and if she thought you were worth helping, then I think maybe you’re a pretty cool person. I could also bring up Buffy’s judgement, but given the aforementioned inclusion of Buffy in your current brain-mess, I won’t.”

Faith smiles. “Thanks.”

Willow shrugs. “And, if it makes you feel better, I’m not a good person either, if we’re talking scales. But, everyday I wake up, the same way you do, and I’m not the person I was when I was hurting and angry and stupid. I’m not, not, her anymore. But there’s more to it than that. It doesn’t always feel like that, but, when my brain isn’t acting stupid, I know that. So do you, when yours isn’t stupid either.”

Faith shakes her head. “My brain is always stupid.”

Willow shrugs jokingly. “Hey, we forgive you for that.”

Faith snorts and they fall back to the silence. Finally, Willow adds. “Do you want me to call Angel? He tends to be better at the actual dealing of issues, I’m more of a talk until they’re repressed for now, person.”

Faith shakes her head. “No, this was, this helped.”

Willow nods solidly. “Good.”

Faith looks into her eyes and says, “Really, Willow, thanks.”

Willow nods, but because it’s Faith, and because it’s her, she adds, “No Will or Red? That love thing was platonic, I’m really not interested.”

Faith punches her in the arm before Willow walks out of the room laughing.


End file.
